My improvement quest once again gone down the drain.
For the past year, this life of mine has been further and further away from the path of improvement.
What went wrong? Frankly speaking, I have been a bad Muslim, for years and years, not just for the past year. I am not ashame to admit this because it is true. I forgot the reason why I was sent here. I forgot the PURPOSE OF MY LIFE ! I was trying to improve LIFE, but at the same time I ignored the fact that ISLAM IS THE WAY OF LIFE. Any attempt to segregate Islam from life as a whole is futile. You eihter adopt Islam totally (in all aspects of your life) or you will be drifted away from the Truth bit by bit. There's no choose and pick in Islam.
Now I know. And I learnt it the HARD WAY. Yes, the damage had been done. My life IS in a terrible mess.
But ALHAMDULILLAH, Allah still loves me. And that's why HE reminded me of the destructive things I was doing and guides me to the right path.
And Alhamdulillah my wife is ever supportive in helping me to get back on the right track. My wife really is my soulmate. I love her so much.
Friends and families have also been very helpful. Some even go further in helping me ALL THE WAY....in ways I never imagined they would(especially one particular friend - clearly this friend is God's sent!).
So now I'm a changed man. I am a better Muslim. I regretted my wrongdoings. I repented my sins. I cried. Taubah is the word. And I am praying that Allah will give me Taubah Nasuha because that is the highest form of Taubah.
In Shaa Allah I will keep on being a Good Muslim because to maintain being good is much more difficult than saying and aspiring to be one.
Please pray for my success in being a Good Muslim, the Best Muslim I can be.
Wassalam.
p/s: from now on, all my improvement activities will and should incorporate Islamic elements in it.
