Should We Always Show Appreciation To Others ?
The most logical and simplest answer to this question would be.....YES, Always !
However in real life it is not as simple as that !
For some people it might be easy to show gratitude and appreciation towards other people. While for the other half of the people this personality traits/skill is VERY difficult to master.
I for one belongs to the 2nd group of people ! I always have a problem to THANK others for the good things they do for me.
What causes this not-so-good attitude of mine I'm not very sure but it is INSIDE of me! It's in my gene ! Not the gene I was born with but something that been nurtured for many years......hence old habits die hard I guess !
Yet at the same time there is a tiny voice inside me which keep telling me that it is not right, I got to change, I must show my appreciation to others especially those who are kind/helpful to me......and especially those who are always there for me, those who love/care about me.....
So, what kind of appreciation are we talking about ? The most advance appreciation (Level 3) would be like giving something to the person, which can either be physical gifts (eg birthday present) or mental/spiritual (eg birthday wishes) to the other person.
Level 2 I suppose entails a simple 'thank you' or a tap on the shoulder of the person who had done you a favour/deed. A simple thing to do yet not many can do it naturally !
And the least you could do (Level 1) I suppose is to smile at that person. For instance, someone holds the lift's door for you, do you just ignore him/her as nothing had just happened or you say Thank You to him/her?
For me, I would normally say thank you and smile too....and with that I can say that I pass that Appreciation Test Level 1..... even this skill I learned during my stay in the UK....pass the salt, hold the door, greet Good Morning, notice a new haircut - just to name a few little little things which make the other person feels appreciated.
But when it comes to the higher level, Level 2 and 3 ........ the things which defines me as a person, I failed to perform. For example, why do I find it so difficult to thank my wife for all the things she does for me...like washing the clothes, cooking, ironing etc etc or even for loving me !
Am I a bad husband ? Who should be blame?
I cannot blame the environment I was brought up anymore for this failure because I have been an adult since I left my mom's house when I was 16 years old. And then on, whatever I absorbed as my culture and personalities are my own doing. Nurture is not at fault. I just didn't try hard enough to be a better person in this aspect.
The more important question is can I change?
Is it too late to start showing appreciation to others? Is it so difficult to start showing love to those who love me? Will it hurt me if I thank others who have done good things which contributes to my success?
The answer lies in my determination to change for the better. And from today onwards I promise myself to be more aware of this need to show due appreciation to those who deserve it !
A Caring & Loving Husband & Father I Am,
Amir Hamdzan Hamzah
